Love… that confusing, beautiful feeling.

What does finding love mean for a girl who’s insecure about her weight, for her who has been told repeatedly by her well-meaning aunts, that if she doesn’t lose a bit of weight, she’s never going to find herself a husband? Finding love is a difficult as it is, but even more so for those who don’t conform to society’s beauty standards.

Ever seen a hot guy walking hand in hand with a girl who’s bigger than average? Takes only a split second for you to think, “How did SHE get HIM?” If you’re single everyone thinks it’s because you’re fat (never mind the fact that you have chosen the single life cause #independentwoman for life). Of course, if your SO is also fat, then everyone’s happy because “Aww two fat people found love with each other”.

What’s not funny though, is the crippling sense of inferiority, the mistrust and the insecurity you feel both when you’re single and even when you’re in a relationship with a genuinely nice person. You constantly ask yourself why this person is with you, overlooking all the other great things about yourself. You wonder if they have a fetish for big girls, or if this is all a big joke and they’ll turn around one day and laugh in your face for ever imagining it was real. This isn’t helped by how everyone keeps telling you that you’re so lucky to have found a partner who’s ok with dating a fat girl.

Next time someone tries to give you unsolicited advice about your weight and its direct correlation to finding yourself a partner, kill them with your confidence. Know that you are so much more than your physical appearance, focus on the amazing things about yourself, know your self-worth and never bow down to anyone who tells you otherwise. Know that you have the power to dictate what goes on in your life. Just like there’s no right gender or right sexual orientation, there is no right size for love, only the right person.